How To Increase Female Pleasure

Although female pleasure is complex (just think about the myth of Tiresias) and different for everyone, we can provide some general tips that might help increase it. I'd like to emphasise, however, that these really are just tips, not rules: try them if you like, but remember that experimentation is still the best way to go about it and truly understand what makes you happy.

First of all, as mentioned in my article on erogenous zones, let's remember that it's not all about penetration and genitals. 

Using soft lighting – or with all the lights on if we want to see everything – we should stimulate all senses, playing the music or ambience noise we prefer, touching all parts of the body and trying out different sensations, such as hot or cold.

Stimulating more than one erogenous zone, separately or at the same time, it's a way to increase female pleasure.

Some people like to have their clitoris and vagina stimulated at the same time. This can be done through penetration and using sex toys on the clitoris or through penetration and manual stimulation of the clitoris by the partner or oneself (and neither should feel as if they're “not enough”, as that's not the case at all: sexual intercourse is not a competition to see who's best – it's a chance to have fun together. The same is true for sex toys: they shouldn't be seen as substitutes, but as aids to enhance the experience). 

There's also oral sex, while simultaneously touching the vagina and erogenous areas such as the perineum (the region between vulva and anus), the front vaginal wall where the G-spot or the CUV area are, the deepest part of the vagina near the cervix and the fornices of the uterus (those parts of the vagina found around the cervix). And let's not forget that there are other areas sensitive to stimulation, such as the neck, breasts and nipples.

We should always ask our partner if they prefer single or multiple stimulation, and if they're not sure... There's only one thing to do: experiment! Always with care and respect, of course.

With regard to penetration, some women find superficial penetration, just inside the vagina, extremely pleasurable. It can lead to very intense orgasms, which could be further intensified through the skilful use of breaks: some people like to stop just before climaxing, as this increases their pleasure and it's like “starting anew”, resulting in a more intense orgasm. However, this could also lead to miss out on “the decisive moment” and it might then be difficult to get there again: maybe that's precisely what you like, but if that's not the case, talk to your partner to see how you both can proceed from there. 

You'll have noticed that we haven't talked about penis size – this is because studies show that size doesn't affect female pleasure: what's much more important is to keep your nails trimmed, so that manual stimulation is a pleasure and not a pain!

Final tip: we should always bear in mind that feeling you don't have to hurry is as important as good communication. A “quickie” might be thrilling and enjoyable, but taking your time can be very rewarding, especially in terms of increased pleasure.

Article by Silvia Boselli – Obstetrician specialised in pelvic floor rehabilitation

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